I'm still living in 1998

This is so yesterday, but did you know that Miss Piggy put out a perfume called "Moi" ? You probably did.

Please don't leave me

It seems like all my friends' blogs are dropping like flies. I feel like a lone narcissist in the wilderness.

Good going, Mun Mun

Last Saturday I had a moving sale with Oge, JC, and Danilo at my old apartment. I put out a piece of what I thought was empty luggage TK had given me to sell. The eleven-year-old kid down the street came by to hang out with my nephew. (This neighbor kid is known for some erratic behavior incidentally.) For some reason the boys became enthralled with all the pockets in TK's bag and the neighbor kid bought it for a dollar.

As he examined the bag, he kept discovering more and more pockets. First he pulled out a lighter of TK's and forfeited it to me. How did I miss that? I was completely chagrined and started thinking about how I was going to casually mention my little error to his mom before he did. Then, he dug deeper and nearly cut himself on a razor. Beautiful. I hope no heroin or firearms turned up when he got it home.

Before I throw away my 2004 day-planner

It's good to keep old day-planners for a while in case you are in a homicide investigation and someone asks you, "Where were you on the night of October 16th 2004?" Then, you will know where you were.

Here are some notes jotted down in my 2004 calendar.

Dicky: Aren't you going to finish your chicken?
Mun Mun: I've lost the will to eat chicken.

If you want to be a real fake jew, you're going to have to get a therapist.

"Don't take any shit." (Quoting my dad)

nurshing (a word I made up - not sure what it means - combo of nursing and nourishing?)

mysterious losers

Journal of Obsolescence, Journal of Powerlessness

Lost Underwear Tour '84
Hacking Cough Tour '89

Thank god I can throw this thing out now.

From my lips to your local store

A while back I wrote an entry about how they don't sell Golden Toe brand socks in the women's hosiery section of department stores and this bugged me. Inexplicably I kept getting lots of hits for "Golden Toe socks" appearing in my site meter. Well, last time I went to Macy's, low and behold, there was a display of Golden Toe socks for women! The Golden Toe people are listening to me!!!!!!

Now listen up the rest of you!
Baskin Robbins! - Check that all the workers at your franchises know how to make a decent ice cream soda. I often have to instruct these young whippersnappers how to make them.
Circuit City! - Consider hiring employees that aren't rude.
Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf! - Your Chai lattes suck compared to Starbucks. Get some flavored syrups on your menu for godssakes (That goes for you too Peet's)
Morning Star! - Your breakfast links rule! Your fake bacon needs a little work.
Trader Joe's! What the hell happened to stocking Jelly Belly Sours? Bring those back immediately.

That's all for now.

Friend of Dorothy

The other day TK and I were watching TV and a commercial came on that confused TK. The commercial depicted Toys-R-Us employees talking in the aisles and mentioning this and that about Geoffrey, but never showing Geoffrey. TK asked me "Do you know Geoffrey?" I had to explain to him that Geoffrey is the giraffe mascot of Toys-R-Us. Somehow this bit of popular culture had escaped TK's radar screen. But it occurred to me that, along the lines of "Friend of Dorothy" in gay culture, "Do you know Geoffrey?" would be a good secret code for an underground railroad of pedophiles.
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I'm fairly certain no N A M B L A members read this blog, so I think I'm safe in making this joke.
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I put spaces between the letters of n a m b l a, so people won't come across that acronym as a keyword of this blog.
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I hope that works.
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Pedophiles revolt me. Really.
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I guess this post is inappropriate.
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Must I constantly censor myself?
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This post may self-destruct at some point.

Arrow Bear

Quite a few years ago, Maggie and I were having coffee at the Insomnia cafe (I think it might have been called Java at the time) and talking to a couple of strange guys. We somehow got on the topic of Arrow Bear music camp. I think Maggie or one of the guys had gone there for summer camp. The question arose about from where the name Arrow Bear Music Camp came. Someone explained that it was halfway between Lake Arrowhead and Big Bear. Ah, better "Arrow Bear" than "Big Head" I responded.

How did Mun Mun get to be so fucking hilarious?

In the future, we'll all be wearing tailored clothes

Have you ever noticed how in science fiction movies, the characters are always wearing perfectly fitting cat suits? I think it's because in the future all our measurements will be known by clothes manufacturers. Wait, it looks like the future is now! See the Intellifit website.

A few years ago, Levis had a program where they would take your measurements and keep them on file. So, you could order more jeans without going into the store. They discontinued that program, but it looks like they are reviving it with some fancy scanning mechanism. I hate trying on pants, so I've gotta check this out.

This may be on the next quiz

Mun Mun prefers low pulp orange juice. Please make a note of it.

Nesting

Mun Mun has been offline too long. I finally moved the cats in with TK last week. It was semi-traumatic for them. Milo is still hiding in the closet half the time. Inkblot is cozying up to Tim, but only in my presence.

TK had an accident on Sat'day night when a ginormous picture frame he was hanging broke and the cascading glass sliced his thumb. He had to get eight stitches and we barely made it to the Neil Diamond concert at the Staples center. However, we made it and it was great! Neil's outfit was only slightly sparkly. He had us turn to the person on our right and say, "I love you." That was easy for me 'cos TK was on my right. The middle-aged dad sitting on my left did not say he loved me. I don't know what the hell his problem was.

I just started writing thank you notes for wedding gifts tonight. Seven down. Eight zillion to go.