Norman Rockwell?

Doesn't this picture totally look like
a Norman Rockwell painting?

You know you're irritable when the way someone types bugs you. Tap tap tap tap tap. Shut up!!!

Toddler minutiae

My daughter does not have any birthmarks.

Yesterday she discovered if she yanks at her hair hard enough, hairs will come out of her head.

"What Do You Say, Pops All Year Round" to emerge from chrysallis, God willin'

I wrote a draft of the fourth installment of What Do You Say, Pops, but never hoped to have time to draw the cartoons with my toddler running around. I floated the idea of recruiting my niece Molly to draw the pictures and she and my brother seemed open to it. I also have a partial draft of a shorter pops book insert, called, "The Wisdom of Pops."Must get specifications to Molly before her vacation.

Shrinky the Bear says,

Next time you attempt suicide, try jumping off a taller building, dummy.

It was your impressive front and backpack that drew me

Recently at the library, I was looking for a book in the open stacks reference section and one of our regular homeless patrons who wears a huge backpack was standing right next to the section that had the book I was looking for. As I slowly sidled up to him, he says (without looking at me), "Not in a million years." I guess he thought I was trying to hit on him. My ego was crushed being rejected by a transient!

I turn my head for one second

Yesterday a friend's pit bull sat on my baby.

No, my baby's feet are not fucking cold

Whenever I'm out with my infant daughter alone, I get criticism inevitably from total strangers about how she's dressed or covered up or not covered up. No one gives my husband shit about anything when he's out with the baby. Everyone is like, "How nice that he's giving the mother a break," not knowing he is the primary caregiver.

My daughter takes after her father and grandmother in that she does not like her feet covered up when she sleeps. She kicks off socks any chance she gets. But if you touch her feet on a chilly day, her feet are warm. So, when I take her out without socks, I wish all these busybodies would stop asking me if her feet are cold. Touch her feet! They are not fucking cold! Stop asking me if they are cold!

Am I the only one who gets Bahrain mixed up with Brunei?