Unemployed or on vacation?

It's amazing how little you can accomplish once you set your mind to it. Today I fried up a mess of catfish. Then, I ate the catfish.

Shrinkie the Bear says:

Walk down and fuck 'em all.

Hippylocks and the one bear

Saturday afternoon, before graduation, I came home from TK's house to change my clothes. I had heard from my brother that there had been a big garage sale or something on our block (my brother lives on the same block). I walked up my steps and saw a hat, sunglasses, and water. Someone's been sitting on my porch, I thought to myself. Maybe some garage sale customer?

When I opened my front door there was a strange man staring back at me.

Me: Oh, jesus christ! (flying down the stairs)
Drunk Hippy: Where's Colleen?
Me: I don't know what you're talking about!
Drunk Hippy: I was suppose to meet Colleen here for a party. She's always doing this to me.
Me: No one named Colleeen lives here!

Supposedly the drunk hippy got my neighbor's apartment mixed up with mine. Don, the drunk hippy, had climbed in the kitchen window I left open for the cat to get out to wait for Colleen, my new-ish neighbor.(???!!!)

Me: Could you just leave now?

Nothing was stolen and they guy seemed harmless. Maybe he was a thief with a quick excuse. Or maybe he was a confused, drunk hippy. I still haven't talked to Colleen. (Nice friends you got there) It took me a long time to call 911. I've gotta work on my emergency responses and detective work. Poor Milo will be confined all summer because I'll never leave that window open again. Totally didn't connect the clue of the overturned watering can next to the open window with the other items on the porch.

I like saying, "Iditarod."

Barnaby Jones

I was trying to remember the theme from Barnaby Jones the other day, but instead I dredged up the Rockford Files music. Does anyone remember the Barnaby Jones music? If so, please whistle or sing me a message at [*phone number removed*]. You know the area code.

This message will at some point self-destruct.[TK has already fulfilled this request; No need to respond]

What the kids are saying

This line is probably already passe on the playground, since I am just getting wind of it. Yesterday I met a fellow named Paul Carpenter who said a little girl said to him:

Talk to the booty, 'cos the hand's off duty.

I feel my life has been enriched.

Damnit. Inkblot has worms again. No wonder she's being such a crab.

I am about to become a Master of Library and Information Science, but I think on my business cards, I'll put "Mistress of Library and Information Science."

Half-baked idea number 8058

So, I was thinking it would be neat to write a series of biographies for children of folks I admire, such as Seymour Hersh and Daniel Ellsberg. I'd call it the Modern Patriots series. Or something. Who else would be good to profile? Ideas?

More breaking news: I'm reading a YA book called Boy Meets Boy. It's a riot.