Dream

I was rollerblading through the UCLA campus trying to find Moore Hall for my first class in Law School. It's crowded and the campus is all mixed up so I can't find Moore Hall. I run into Barry Williams' clone who promises to lead me to Moore Hall. I think we're going to get it on later. I was never into Greg Brady, but whatevs.

If I could never again see a Hexbug inserted into a vagina, that would be great. #parenthood

So, the Echo Center (also known as Echo Parent & Education and formerly The Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting) is a cult, right? Discuss.

I'm sorry if California hurt you.

What do you do when you only feel passionate about inconsequential bullshit?

I feel shitty and depleted.

I am tortured by dreams of you having way more fun than me at the Malibu Colony frolicking in the waves with Jim Carey and Adam Sandler.

PMS is unfuckingbelievable today. Jesus Shit!

I am a Gorgon and I only eat gorganic.

A hefty, middle-aged woman lumbered out of a new VW Beetle in the parking lot, so I said, "Sorry, only cute, petite Asian women are allowed to drive those."