I am bleeding like a stuck pig.

Fantasy

Today
Kid (pointing to my daughter): "I can see her diaper."
Me: "I can see your ugly face."

Tomorrow
Kid (to daughter): "Your mom is old."
Daughter: "Your mom is a whore."

Things I never thought I'd have to say to anyone repeatedly before I became a parent

Get your finger out of my nose.
Could you get your foot out of my vagina?

What does Mun Mun have to say? Not much. Mun Mun is meditating on some themes:

We're more alike than we are different
All kinds of people make the world go 'round
Substance over form
No risk, no payoff

What else matters to Mun Mun? What???

My daughter's vocabulary so far, continued

Ball
Burt
Ernie
Dorothy (not enunciated quite right though)

My daughter's vocabulary so far

Hi
Bye
Hair
More
Thanks (pronounced Ta)
Hat
Hot
Oh!
No
Wha'this?
Yay!
Wow!
Mama
Daddy
Milo
one
two
Elmo
ABCDE
Moo
Baa
cockadoodledoo (pronounced roorooroorooroo)
poo
towel
baby

Shrinky the Bear says:
Judge not lest ye be judged...motherfucker.

Best Frosting Ever (And I Don't Even Like Frosting)

Here's my mother's Mocha Cake recipe. When she started to go downhill with lung cancer, I made her this cake for her birthday which she enjoyed.

Mocha Cake Recipe

Ingredients
1 Sunshine orange sponge cake
1 cup half and half
2 teaspoons powdered coffee
Whipped cream
Chopped walnuts
Butter mocha frosting

Bake or buy a sunshine sponge cake
Slice in 4 layers. Pour over them with a teaspoon, a cup half and half to which 1 teaspoon vanilla and 2 teaspoons powdered coffee dissolved in a very little water have been added. Fill with whipped cream and chopped walnuts. Frost with butter mocha frosting and decorate with whole walnuts.

Butter mocha frosting
½ lb. sweet butter
6 egg yolks
1 ¼ c. powdered sugar
4-5 level teaspoons powdered coffee, dissolved in water (least amount)
1 Tbsp. vanilla

Beat butter first, then add 1/8 cup of the sugar, then the egg yolks one at a time. Add ½ cup more sugar, then the coffee and vanilla, then the rest of the sugar. Refrigerate frosted cake for about 3 hours.