"Sailin’ ’round the world in a dirty gondola.
Oh, to be back in the land of coca-cola!"
--Bob Dylan

"...America, where they drink coca-cola just like vintage wine"
--Elvis Costello

I was thrilled and pleased today to find eight ounce cans of Coke at Albertson's. Twelve ounces is just too much! Eight is just right! I have a vague memory that Coke came in the little cans like this in the 1970's, but maybe I'm dreaming. Which reminds me: What ever happened to tomato aspic in a can??? I guess it no longer exists. Must look into it.

You think it's easy being a big slacker-flake?

I came across this feller's music on my wonderful trip to Australia a few years ago -

My Dad Snores
By John Williamson

My Dad snores, does yours?
My Grandpa snores too
Through walls and doors
It rumbles right through
M’Mum’s nearly goin’ insane
Though she kicks him again and again
What are we going to do
Your Dad, does he snore too?

My Dad snores, does yours?
Like an old steam train
There he goes again
Like thunder and rain
We tried a peg on his nose
When he snores through the TV shows
What are we going to do
Your Dad, does he snore too?

My Dad snores, he roars
Like our old school bus
What’s the fuss, he says
What’s the matter with us
So we taped him on a blank cassette
But he still doesn’t believe us yet
What are we going to do
Your Dad, does he snore too?

© Emusic Pty.Ltd.

8 Comedic Situations

As you probably know, Mun Mun is a master at comedy writing and has had many plays produced by the Bustown Kids and the Stuffed Animal Players of Holmby Avenue. You've probably wondered, "How can I write the next breakout comedy of the season?" Mun Mun has a trick for you. Just pick one theme from this list that hasn't been done in a while. Everyone will have forgotten about that type of comedy and it will seem fresh all of a sudden.

Each type of comedy is followed by feature film examples. You may argue that 6 and 7 can be conflated. My answer to that is "Fuck you! You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Persuasive, huh?

COMEDY TYPES

1. FISH OUT OF WATER (Conflict comes out of character confronting new world)

Private Benjamin
Moscow on the Hudson
Crocodile Dundee
Sleeper
Bananas
Beverly Hills Cop
Local Hero
Austin Powers(1)
Back to the Future
Zelig
Ace Ventura (?)
Trading Places
Men In Black
Sister Act
Shanghai Noon
Beetlejuice
Cats and Dogs
School of Rock
Elf

2. THE DOUBLE LIFE (Conflict comes out of character hiding something)

Tootsie
Dave
12th Night
Mrs. Doubtfire
Big
Housesitter
Houseguest
Liar Liar
Paper Moon
Some Like it Hot
Camp Nowhere
Being John Malkovich
The Birdcage
The Truth About Cats and Dogs(?) (I never actually saw this movie)
My Best Friend's Wedding
City Lights
Deuce Bigelow
The Nutty Professor
Maid in America

3. THE OBSESSIVE QUEST (Conflict comes out of character going to outrageous lengths to get one thing they want)

Pee Wee's Big Adventure
The Blues Brothers
Something About Mary
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Groundhog Day
A Christmas Story
Saving Silverman
Ed Wood
Young Frankenstein
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Hannah and Her Sisters (?)

4. FOOLS/INNOCENTS IN CHARGE OR IN EXTRAORDINARY SITUATION (Conflict comes out of character's naively gaining or wielding power)

Being There
The Jerk
Clueless
The Producers
This Is Spinal Tap
Home Alone
Ishtar
Foul Play
The Pink Panther
The Man Who Knew Too Little
Strange Brew
Buster Keaton shorts (most)
Who Am I?
Airplane
Duck Soup (?)
Bruce Almighty

5. LOSERS VS. THE NORM (Conflict comes out of characters' seemingly hopeless attempts to win while being true to themselves)

The Bad News Bears
Meatballs
Caddyshack
Coconuts(?)
Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion
Animal House
MASH
Revenge of the Nerds
Stripes
Ghostbusters
Muriel's Wedding
The First Wives Club

6. THE ODD COUPLE (Conflict comes out of opposites joining forces)

The Odd Couple
Harold & Maude
Rush Hour
Silver Streak
Romancing The Stone
Toy Story
Analyze This
Broadway Danny Rose
French Kiss
Green Card
Bulletproof
Say Anything
Jade Scorpion
Scared Straight (and other Martin & Lewis movies)
Midnight Run

7. ROMANTIC COMEDY (Conflict comes out of two characters' denying their need of each another. Yeah, I know - the odd couple is possibly just a subset of this one, so I need to rename it)

Bull Durham
His Girl Friday
The Goodbye Girl
Irreconcilable Differences
Annie Hall
Four Weddings and a Funeral
When Harry Met Sally
Look Who's Talking(?)

8. COMING OF AGE (Conflict comes when character's past role in life no longer fits changing self)

The Graduate
Little Darlings
Breaking Away
Diner
The Breakfast Club
Sixteen Candles
Brighton Beach Memoirs
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Postcards from the Edge

I'm not sure where a satire, such as Brain Candy, fits. I didn't really like Brain Candy, so I don't feel like watching it again to figure it out.

Mun Mun suggests you write an “Obsessive Quest” comedy. Just make sure the main character wants something weird, like a fancy bicycle or a BB Gun. Of course many movies combine types, but I'd say usually there is one central conflict in a comedy that works. I think, for example, the main story of Hannah and Her Sisters is an obsessive quest (the Michael Caine and Barbara Hershey storyline), but the subplot with Woody Allen and Dianne Wiest is an Odd Couple.

Does this qualify as a "paradigm"? Maybe it is a scheme. Gotta go. Milo wants treats.

Were those sesame seeds on your chair or flea pupae?

Used to know a fellow by the name of Jin Kim who I held in high regard for his declaration that he only liked porn of "people having sex with furniture." However, last night I viewed some mind blowing porn that trumps the genre described by Jin. It has to be seen to be believed. It was done by this guy named Joel Huschle who also writes the kickass blog Visual Nutrients Check out his videos and art at Kristi Engle Gallery, 453 S. Spring St., No. 741 if you can handle it.

Which way does your hair whorl?

http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/node/6626

Mun Mun is thinking with her dick too much. Know how I know this? Her floor is littered with leaves and she has not mailed her Xmas present to the Grassman's (Shhh. Don't tell Pops). Also, she has not returned some phone calls, the dumb bitch. Back to the grindstone!

Confidential to TKOh!: O-O-O That am the way to spell hugs.