I love MacDougal's new ice coffees - synthesized goodness

In the movie, Time After Time, H.G. Wells travels with a time machine into the future where he ends up eating at MacDonalds. However, he refers to the fast food joint as "that Scottish place," "MacDougals." So, I like to call it MacDougal's as well. Won't you do the same?

Samurai Sam's register

Confidential to the flirty African-American gent manning a fast food counter in the Arco plaza

When you offered light or dark meat, my selection of dark meat wasn't code for "...like my men." I merely like to choose the least healthy option possible.

(Nothing against men of color, but I AM wearing a wedding ring) Hee hee.

Like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic

The other day a man came into the library looking for an issue of Popular Woodworking that had an article with the exact specifications of the actual deck chairs on the Titanic. It didn't occur to me until later that there is a commonly used simile "like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic" to describe a hair-brained or fruitless attempt at improving a situation.

I guess those editors at Popular Woodworking have a sense of humor.

Gregnog

I discovered this cartoonist Greg Nog through a funny Uncle Shelby-esque Metafilter post he did. I really like his comics about working at the Olive Garden.

Baby digs it: she's an angel

When I was pregnant, TK and I watched a documentary about the band, They Might Be Giants, and I thought the baby started dancing in the womb. Now she's 4 months old and she still really responds to their music.

Chub

I took my baby to a party the other day and this woman had a cute nickname for those Michelin-man like extra baby upper-thigh creases. Damn, what was it?

Nightmares

Now that I have a baby, I have nightmares about bad things happening to her. So far in my dreams she's been torched, drowned, and kidnapped. Ugh.

Sugar Binge

I was on a strict diet for gestational diabetes for 9 months and have been catching up on my unhealthy eating since giving birth. Some of the items I'd been missing: Thai ice coffee, See's candy, Jack in the Box milkshakes, peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream, frappucinos. I still have not had an ice cream sundae though. Nor have I had a donut. I've got to get on that.

When you're hiccupping, no one can hear you scream

It's kind of funny when my baby wants to cry at the top of her lungs, but the hiccups interrupt her. (She has a lot of gas pain these days; We aren't beating her or anything)

Veruca Salt's Golden Goose Song Lyrics from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Gooses, geeses
I want my geese to lay gold eggs for Easter
(It will sweetheart)
At least a hundred a day
(Anything you say)
And by the way
(What?)
I want a feast
(You ate before you came to the factory)
I want a bean feast
(Oh, one of those)
Cream buns and doughnuts and fruitcake with no nuts so good you could go nuts
(You can have all those things when you get home)
No now

I want a ball
I want a party
Pink macaroons and a million balloons and performing baboons
And give it to me now

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It's my bar of chocolate
Give it to me now

I want a today
I want tomorrow
I want to wear 'em like braids in my hair and I don't want to share 'em

I want a party with room-fulls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream

I want the works
I want the whole works
Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes and now

Don't care how I want it now
Don't care how I want it now